Change Gone Come

Someone once asked me if I was always the way I am today. To that I replied with a simple ‘no’. You see after graduating from college (Winthrop University), I went in search of my own self-identity. Unlike those who travel the world or go on a mission, I took a totally radical approach. I went into the proverbial “closet”. Yes I went in the closet. As I sat there, I said to myself  “When I come out of here, there is going to be a noticeable change.” So the first thing I did was to empty the vessel that was me in my current state. I questioned everything that I was taught and told to be true. I came to the realization that like the majority of us, I was a direct reflection of the status quo. For as much as we would like to believe we are our own person, what we are is the culmination of traditions and beliefs held by others that have been passed down to us. So while I sat in the dark, cool closet my question became “Who Am I?” As I slowly started to put the pieces together it became clear that I was remarkably different from who I once was. My views from the role religion played in my life (none) to marriage being an outdated institution was taking shape. I was becoming my own person. A person of my own set of values. A person who had an objective point of view free of judgment and preconceived misconceptions. As I stood up and prepared to walk out into the light, I took a deep breath and exhaled. I now knew who I was without apology. Many of us made resolutions vowing to change. Whether the change is a subtle one or a major one, with a thorough evaluation of who ‘you’ are, you’ll end up the same and the change you sought will not take effect. So while we think ‘the closet’ is a place for gay people to come out of, I would say more of us should be going in so you can come out and reveal your true self. You only get one go around in life. I chose to be ok with me and not worry what others think. Once you realize its ok to be different and not follow protocol, life can really be worthwhile. I had a teacher tell me to challenge everything and not accept anything just because it’s the way it has always been done. Without fundamental change we allow the status quo to remain acceptable. So to all of those seeking change in 2012, the closet awaits.